Is my bad posture a reason why I’m still single?
Key factor to succeed in dating and find your love is a good posture, study found
From mating animals we can notice that strong upright position adds them extra scores. Just see how peacocks keep peacocks fan their feathers and chimpanzees flaunt their limbs their gaze. It is a nonverbal way to communicate power and dominance, that is attractive to the opposite sex. Does the same happens with humans?
A new study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that hunching over may be just as bad for your dating prospects as it is for your spine. Scientists analyzed a film of 144 speed-dating sessions and found that open postures and gestures, such as outspread arms and legs, were strongly associated with desirability. People who made such “expansive” gestures had nearly double the odds of piquing a potential partner’s interest as those who hunched over or kept their hands and legs close to their bodies. "An expansive, open posture involves widespread limbs, a stretched torso and general enlargement of occupied space," says Tanya Vacharkulksemsuk, a social psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley and lead author on the study. Similar magic happened with profiles on dating websites: “closed” positions on a photo got almost 30% less swipes compare to “open” and straight.
If you need to pump yourself before a date or an important meeting/interview, TED-speaker Amy Cuddy also recommends to use a power pose aka superhero. In the book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, psychology professor Jordan Peterson, of the University of Toronto, spark provocative conversation about lobsters biology explaining psychology of hierarchy. Lobsters fight for territory — and this results in winners and losers. There are significant consequences for defeated lobsters — their chemistry and brain changes, they lose confidence, and even their posture reflects their lowly social status. It’s called “postural expansiveness,” and it basically refers to how much space you take up with your torso and limbs. Such “power postures” convey dominance and willingness to share those traits with others, Tanya Vacharkulksemsuk said.
The conclusion is pretty straightforward, if you want to increase chances of potential dates and spark interest from the first meeting, you need to show up straight and maintain “open” positions. It’s easy to say that do, especially when you feel stressed and nervous. Being a women make us insecure in many situations even more. For example, I’m tall, I have a big breast, shy, was bulled at school. The pandemic made things even worse with everything-zoom and lack of social interaction. The best way to overcome natural tendency to slouch is to leverage help of functional apparel. You might heard about posture correctors, but they doesn’t look as something you want to wear on the first date. Or wear at all. Recently tech start to emerge more into fashion industry that gives us benefits of sun-protection, warm but light clothes, and also posture enhancers.
However, there are several options on the market, I fell in love with Etalon posture bra. Finally, a bra that makes you healthier instead of turtering you with sharp wires and tight laces. It’s a brand new innovation that available for pre-order. I got lucky to test it first. First of all, you can’t tell that Etalon bra is not just a trendy crop top. There is no awkward braces or vibrating devices. You can easily wear it with a suite or under a sweater or dress as a bra. Stripes that go from a spine and support your back are adjustable, so I prefer to start from light pull and increase tension as I feel comfortable. Also, they are sexy. The last thing that I want on a date or interview is to think about a pain. You can wear Etalon situationally, but with regular commitment, you can achieve posture changes in 3 months. It sounds long, but realistical. Unlikely any major habit or body pattern change can happen in a night.
It’s a common misunderstanding that posture is only relevant to our backs. Building good posture begins with our backs, but the effects are far reaching. Posture is the alignment of the entire body, from the bottom of your feet to the crown of your head. Etalon apparel focuses on eliminating the habit (and negative effects) of slouching, but gently pulling your shoulders back and moving your shoulder blades closer together. Over time, this simple adjustment will have profound effects on your body, and on your ability to fully enjoy life. Because consequence in a romantic life is only a part, slouching leads to physical and mental discomfort.
My experience of wearing Etalon bra first week was mind-blowing. I finally got a support that doesn’t feel discomfortable, but keeps me upright without thinking about it every time. I start to wear the bar a several hours a day and eventually increased time to 6 hours. The most important, that when I take it off, my muscle memory still maintain the same position. I feel more empowered at work and confident on dates. It’s too early to say I found my love, but all new people I met, want to continue seeing me. Finally, it’s my turn to make a choice and pick what I want. Of course, posture is not just one way to be an Alpha Girl meaning living life that you want and as you want. But I believe (and also trust to scientist) that standing up straight could actually improve your love life.
You can pre-order Etalon bra here and get in delivered this fall.
Photo by Felipe Callado on Unsplash